I Stand All Amazed at Myself

Not long ago, I was sustained as a Mormon Gay Leader. This position has apostolic responsibilities because the Latin word apostolus is literally translated as “one who is sent out.” I have been sent out because I am Mormon, I am Gay and I am Leader. Hear me roar.

I don’t really have a resume of community activism. But I am an active Latter-day Saint. My leadership position isn’t technically a leadership position with any authority. But public relations or administrative support can be leadership if you say it is. And I say it is. There are others out there in Onlinemormonland whose circumstances are pretty much the most amazing EVER, allowing them to convince the media and effusive Mormons alike that they are full-fledged Mormon Priesthood Leaders. There are naysayers, of course. But I ignore feedback. The promptings that come to my mind and heart are all I need. I’m pretty sure the others are the same way.

Who knows what the future will bring. All I know is that my DNA is swimming with leadership, sorta like Jedi Master Yoda’s midi-cholrian count. OFF. THE. CHARTS! Blessed, I am. Yes. Away put your criticisms, I mean you no harm.

To say I’m humbled would be prideful in its own way, so I make sure I keep my face in the public eye, and start as many sentences as possible with the words “I am.” The world needs to know that I have been called and that this calling is perhaps the most transformative moment ever experienced within a self-reverberant hall. Notwithstanding the aforementioned and hereafter elucidated vicissitudes of eternal consequence, I am simply an extraordinary man, blessed to have been placed in ordinary circumstances. On a daily basis, I am astounded at how blessed I am to bring so much to so many.


Sunday Schooling – Lesson 1

As we prepare to celebrate America’s birthday, let us pause to remember the importance of our Divine Constitution. While we feast on meaty barbecue, let us also feast on the words of the scriptures and the prophets who have taught about the sanctity of the correct interpretation of the U.S. Constitution. The most important pillar of that interpretation is that the freedom of churches to assert their influence over society is the most important freedom our free nation is compelled to guarantee under the Constitution.

We have been taught by the prophets living today that the most grievous threat to this correct interpretation of religious freedom is the gay rights movement. In particular, gay marriage will rock America like a hurricane and will poison our society. This puts our entire constitutional system in mortal—and moral—peril. It may be that the long-promised day is nigh at hand in which the Constitution will hang by a thread and the Elders of Israel will be the only ones to bear it up.

Although as a gay person I want to be sure my rights are valued and protected  as much as any other American, and I’m not sure that I personally accept the idea that there is a constitutional crisis. However, as a Mormon, I must put aside my personal thoughts and any individual desires or inherent guarantees of equal justice under law. The prophet has spoken. Gay marriage is wrong. The debate is over. It is up to us to make sure we are wearing the jerseys of the winning team. Let us put our shoulders to the wheel, and not shirk our duty to follow the prophet in opposing gay marriage as the most dangerous threat to our religious freedom, and therefore the Constitution itself.

Truth Is Reason, Truth Eternal

I don’t waste the powers I’ve been blessed with to build up institutions that are full of people who don’t or won’t understand gay people for who they are. No person should tell a gay person he or she is second-class, or broken, or diseased, or an abomination, or a flaw in the fabric of society, or a threat to human civilization. No other human, regardless of title, has the right to dictate the way you live your life or define the truth of who you are.

The only opinion about you that matters is your opinion of you. No other person’s opinion matters. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Well, God’s opinion matters, obviously. But he’s not a regular person, so it’s not really so much an exception as another part of the rule. It’s your opinion and God’s. That’s it. Period. Also, because the prophets and apostles of the LDS church (Mormon) were called of God by revelation and the laying on of hands (just on their head, not anywhere else, don’t worry), they are God’s spokesmen on earth. Therefore, as an extension of this other part of the rule, they aren’t really regular people either. As a result, their opinions matter pretty much the same as God’s. For sure, they matter more than your opinion, since they have divine authority over you.

So, just to recap: Only your opinion of you matters. And God’s. And especially the prophets and apostles, because they have ultimate authority to tell people what God’s opinions are. And God’s opinion is that gay people are just like everyone else—except without the same rights, or the same opportunities for fulfilling relationships, or a legitimate and correct understanding of human sexuality and emotional health.

It comes down to this: when people or groups have a problem with you being gay, don’t waste your time with them. Instead, do your duty as a good Mormon gay and stay in the church. If you aren’t Mormon, you should join. That’s because the Mormon Church is led by living prophets who declare the mind and will of God, which is that living in a gay relationship means living in defiance of The Plan. No one should ever, ever, EVER tell you that being gay is bad, AND we should unreservedly sustain the prophets and apostles who teach the eternal truth that two gay people living as a married couple, legally and lawfully wedded, will bring upon the people and the nations of the earth the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.

I LOVE a Parade

Literally DOZENS of the approximately 6 million U.S. Mormons marched in several Gay Pride parades recently. More to come too! Yay!!! There were two major groups participating: Mormons for Marriage Equality and Mormons Building Bridges.

The first group fully supports marriage equality (risky). The second group voices their compassion toward gay people, but still righteously follows the prophet (blessed). Both groups are doing an awesome job running the ball down the field when it comes to LDS church public relations. Gotta use a sports analogy for the straight allies. Gooooaaal!

It’s a win-win, as we like to say in corporate circles. Individual Mormons get to look supportive and the church gets to look progressive by graciously allowing individual Mormons march in a big ol’ gay parade with signs that say “Mormon” and “Love” and “Gay” and “LGBT” (with no reference to Prop 8) without excommunicating them for desecrating the Family Proclamation. Actually, it’s a win-win-WIN, since it also causes a PTSD event for many LGBTQ folk who are survivors of Mormon ecclesiastical abuse and family rejection. F. T. W.

It Getteth Better and Improveth in the Due Time of the Lord

Verily, I say unto you, my Mormon brethren and sisters, It Getteth Better. It may not get better in this life. Mormon leaders may keep relying on Bronze Age thinking when it comes to issues of identity, sexuality and health. Many of your fellow Mormons will probably passive-aggressively “love” you into righteous living. But rest assured that you are loved so, so, so much.

You are loved so much that loving prophets have promised that if you are true and faithful to your sacred covenants, and love God’s holy loving prophets enough, you will not be denied any blessing in this life (other than a committed, legally enforceable, love-affirming relationship with a person of the same sex, and, you know, happiness) and will be made at least bisexual enough in the next life (and maybe this life too) so you can populate worlds without number in the proper eternal heterosexual manner, as God does.

Don’t take my word for it. The Lord’s prophets have declared it to be so. Here are some excerpts from God Loveth His Children, a glorious and beautiful pamphlet published by the LDS church showing how it’s totally taking steps in the right direction regarding gay people.

You can receive eternal life if you abide by the same laws as God and do the things He does….

Heaven is organized by families, which require a man and a woman who together exercise their creative powers within the bounds the Lord has set. Same-gender relationships are inconsistent with this plan. Without both a husband and a wife there would be no eternal family and no opportunity to become like Heavenly Father….

As we follow Heavenly Father’s plan, our bodies, feelings, and desires will be perfected in the next life so that every one of God’s children may find joy in a family consisting of a husband, a wife, and children….

God assures His children, including those currently attracted to persons of the same gender, that their righteous desires will eventually be fully satisfied in God’s own way and according to His timing.

I bear you my testimony that I am grateful for these truths and for living prophets who Maketh It Better for all of us.

Mormon Leaders Like Gay Mormons

Mormon leaders really do like gay people. They really, really do. Except for most Mormon leaders, who will throw gay people under the bus whenever the prophets or the Church Handbook of Instructions, or their feelings about The Icky Gay rise up and tell them so. If you’re a Mormon, or know a Mormon, go tell your nearest Mormon bishop, stake president, general authority, apostle, prophet or ward executive secretary that they should like gay Mormons too. They are sure to bow their heads and say, yes. Or not. That will do.